Tuesday, October 11, 2011

A man who carries a cat by the Tail learns something he can only learn in no other way

Ok so we had to do this Journal for English class, and use this quote, and it had to be personal so um this is what I came up with… um what do u think?

A man who carries a cat by the Tail learns something he can only learn in no other way
 –Mark Twain-

     One of the biggest lessons I have learned  if  I want to sit down and really think about it would have to be a spiritual one; before, I was saved there was a lot of horrible stuff going down, “Cliff Notes version” Because otherwise I could be here all day.   The gist of it was I dealing with evil spirits, and my dad from time to time getting possessed and trying to kill me. The most significant memory I can recall was the most terrifying experience I ever had with my father.   I can picture it all like it just happened yesterday. 
      I needed thank you cards.  That’s how it started something so small.  I remembered I had some people at school, and church that had really helped me out and I thought it would be nice to give them a thank you card.  My mom had bought a whole box of them, and told me anytime I needed one to just ask her.  I walked across the house to my mother's bedroom.  The door was closed and Metallica was blasting on my mom’s stereo.  I knocked on the door and my mom appeared in a Towel with a big smiled on her face.  “What can I do for you Sweet pea?” She asked.  I asked her for the thank you cards, and she told me it was no problem.  She went in the room and picked up a bundle and, handed it over to me.  I told her thank you, and I began to walk slowly to my room, but before I got there my stepfather was sitting in his favorite chair with a fresh beer in hand, and he had this look on his face it was filled with such anger.  I literally started to shake under his hateful gaze.  He looked at me, and with a deep raspy voice spewed out what the ---- are you doing?  I hated when he got this way; I knew the only safe thing to do was to speak slowly, so in a soft voice not to arouse his anger  I told him I had asked mom for some thank you cards.   Then in that same low deep voice he said who the ---- are you going to thank?  I explained just some people from church and school.  I remember walking even more slowly to my room.  I didn’t want him to think I was being disrespectful.  I breathed a sigh of relief when I passed the threshold of my bedroom.  I began to close the door; I was very careful to close it so silently, so you didn't even realize I had closed it.  I didn’t want him to think I was slamming the door, and make him more upset with me.   I remember Feeling better about being in my safe room.  I laid the cards in the middle of my bedroom floor, and sat down Indian style. That’s when I heard a loud bang almost like a gunshot.  I turned around jumping to my feet, and looked at my bed.  There in the middle of my mattress was a doorknob.  It shocked me.  The doorknob was in one complete piece. It was just sitting in the middle of my bed, as if someone had just laid it there ready to be installed.  I then turned to the door to see a big hole where the doorknob used to be.  He must have punched it I thought, but at that moment fear took hold of me.  My stepfather was coming at me. His face was blank, and it held such hatred; it almost seemed to radiate in waves off him.  The thing that frightened me most was his eyes.  Normally his eyes are hazel, gray, sometimes blue, or a mixture of both, but at that precise moment his eyes were black.  Not just any black, but a black I had never seen before. If evil had a color it would’ve been that shade of black.  In that moment I knew he was going to kill me.  I was never so terrified in all my life.  I never screamed; I wasn’t that kind of girl, but in that moment I let out a blood wrenching scream that people must've heard from blocks off.  My mother came rushing in yelling and cussing, and screaming about what was going on.  She took one look at her me, and then at my dad, and then she started yelling at him.  I ran to the car, and my mom took me to church for choir practice, and then someone drooped me off at Publix where my mom worked till she got off around 2 am.  I could not be in that house alone with him.  That’s just one of the many instances I was dealing with.
     Before I accepted Christ there were a lot of roads I went through to try to rectify the problem.  I turned to friends who were involved in the occult, and I even tried to take some of it on myself.  It only made matters worse.  Our house was consumed with a darkness that seemed impossible to fight.  Objects flew on their own record.  Cast of black smoke would appear often, and not to mention anger, fear, and hopelessness consumed us all.  Let’s just say nothing I try to do in my own power worked.  Then I met Jesus and everything changed.  Before I got saved I tried to kill myself.  Not my most proudest moment, but that’s how lost and broken I was.  I couldn’t deal with my father’s abuse, or all the evil that surrounded me.  Darkness was all around me, and it seemed I was doomed to a life of gloom and despair.  Then something amazing happened.  Jesus came into my life; he chased away the darkness, and filled me with his light.  Now I was complete and whole.  It baffles me that all I needed to do to get rid of evil was use his name.  “In Jesus name Flee” And they were gone.  There was no big hocus-pocus; just a simple faith and belief.  It wasn’t an instantaneous victory.  It took months of practice.  I had to learn how to trust, to believe, and to have faith.  It was definitely a process, but after I learned how to properly cast out evil from my house, and in my own life there were a lot of spiritual tests.  Evil things weren’t happy that I had found this new faith in Jesus Christ.  I got hit with a tidal wave of badness.  It was like a domino effect.  One little domino of wrongness fell down, and oh look he brought all his friends! Between physically and mentally even in my dreams I was being tested.  It was sink or swim, and I struggled kicking and screaming all the way to the surface.  I’m happy to report I came out victorious, but the battle is far from over, and I still have a lot to learn, so going back to our original Quote about a lesson that I’ve learned, and that only by going through it could I have prevailed. In my mind that was the most significantly important one I will ever lean; because, it not only saved my life it also saved my future for all eternity.



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